At Last a Smiling Face

Its always nice to see a smiling face. Especially when you've not seen one in a while - or at all, in our case. Or is it?

Last month we purchased the Clear Blue digital Ovulation predictor kit. I've been to the family planning clinic, had the rubella antibodies/immunity screening, dispute my huge fear of needles, have had a diaphragm fitted to use until we start trying, and have been waiting for a smiling face to appear to show that my LH levels have surged. This morning after catching my wee specimen in the cup used to put water in the iron(ha ha, gross I know) 3 minutes later, there was the smiler staring at me.

I have been checking LH levels every morning, alongside my basal temperature and cervical mucus (eeww) to give my DH and I a clearer idea of my body's cycle. Having been on the pill since I can remember, we thought it would help to have at least one clear cycle off of the pill before we try, and get an idea of what kind of length of cycle I'm running on, so that we can work out my fertile days when we start trying.

I smiled right back at the face telling me that I have my LH surge. I've always been a bit sceptical that I even ovulate, the concept that higher forces actually gave me the right workings to do so in the first place seem a little far fetched to me. So this is good, or at least a good start. Each site I seem to look at seems to say that my actuall ovulation will begin 12- 48 hrs, DH cant seem to understand why this cant be nailed down, ha ha!


An emotional side effect has been that potentially becoming a mum is becoming more of a real prospect. I actually became a little tearful this morning in bed with my DH, still holding the wee stick. In the last 6 weeks, I've lost my name,(albeit for a new one) am losing my home (albeit for a new one) am losing my friends & military community (albeit for a new one), and although these are all potentially positive changes I feel I need to stop and look back, as well as forward.... the chances are the new body I might be left with with might be more sack of spuds than yummy mummy :(

So as the DH goes out to get some wine, because its Friday- I'm left thinking that I should reallly have lettuce for dinner, to shift the extra weight I'm carrying since or honeymoon. Oh, If only I could be the kind of lady that could live on lettace.

A Vat of Sauce

Is it Wednesday??? - only Wednesday???

If I stand on my tip toes, I can just see the weekend on the horizon. We are moving soon, so my weekends only really consist of packing boxes, but I guess it beats running around the country to various social events, like we have been for the previous few months.

I was told that there would be a lull after the wedding, and that I would feel that there was a space, a hole, something missing. I dont feel that at all. I just feel busy, still. The vat of good old mid week favorite spag bol, is sitting on the hob, bubbling away, anticipating being frozen, pinged and chucked back on a plate in a mexican chilli disguise next week. Why do I feel like pre making meals is somehow cheating? Is this newly wed guilt?

Thankfully I have managed to escape from driving the 2.5hr drive into the office tomorrow. I must make the extra effort to be a motivated homeworker.....at least until Friday lunchtime.