Hubby dear is away tonight. Its the first night since we were married that hes had to go away for work. Its not nice.
DH is due to go away on tour at the end of the year, and part of our family planning is that he would like to be here for the birth. Of course I want this too, but I would also like him to be here during the pregnancy. This means we have only about 3 cycles in which it would be ideal for me to conceive- for the due date to be when he is still in the country. We would start trying now, but I am in the probationary period of a new job, and would rather wait until next month, so that I'm not having my employment review pretending that I'm not pregnant, but just have a Twix addiction.
If it happens that I don't fall in our ideal window, then I would have liked a hormone free option to stop me falling when the due date would mean that DH is away......the condom and the diaphragm don't seem to be the right options. We just don't seem to be getting along with them.
There seems to be so much information out there about ovulation dates, LH surges, tests etc. I feel a little like I'm preparing for some kind of scientific experiment. As the non hormonal contraceptive don't seem to have worked, I was trying to figure out if I was still fertile - to AVOID getting pregnant. DH is feeling a little neglected, so I have my fingers crossed that I wasn't still in my fertile time yesterday - or I will be pregnant too early.
Its situations like this where it would be really nice to know that hes not going to get whipped away to Afghanistan. To allow us to plan, conceive, give birth and allow him to be here for it all, plus the early months of any Littlun that we produce. I think we are both in denial that we will both lose out somewhere, but that's just the reality of being a military family.
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Friday, 29 October 2010
At Last a Smiling Face
Its always nice to see a smiling face. Especially when you've not seen one in a while - or at all, in our case. Or is it?
Last month we purchased the Clear Blue digital Ovulation predictor kit. I've been to the family planning clinic, had the rubella antibodies/immunity screening, dispute my huge fear of needles, have had a diaphragm fitted to use until we start trying, and have been waiting for a smiling face to appear to show that my LH levels have surged. This morning after catching my wee specimen in the cup used to put water in the iron(ha ha, gross I know) 3 minutes later, there was the smiler staring at me.
I have been checking LH levels every morning, alongside my basal temperature and cervical mucus (eeww) to give my DH and I a clearer idea of my body's cycle. Having been on the pill since I can remember, we thought it would help to have at least one clear cycle off of the pill before we try, and get an idea of what kind of length of cycle I'm running on, so that we can work out my fertile days when we start trying.
I smiled right back at the face telling me that I have my LH surge. I've always been a bit sceptical that I even ovulate, the concept that higher forces actually gave me the right workings to do so in the first place seem a little far fetched to me. So this is good, or at least a good start. Each site I seem to look at seems to say that my actuall ovulation will begin 12- 48 hrs, DH cant seem to understand why this cant be nailed down, ha ha!
An emotional side effect has been that potentially becoming a mum is becoming more of a real prospect. I actually became a little tearful this morning in bed with my DH, still holding the wee stick. In the last 6 weeks, I've lost my name,(albeit for a new one) am losing my home (albeit for a new one) am losing my friends & military community (albeit for a new one), and although these are all potentially positive changes I feel I need to stop and look back, as well as forward.... the chances are the new body I might be left with with might be more sack of spuds than yummy mummy :(
So as the DH goes out to get some wine, because its Friday- I'm left thinking that I should reallly have lettuce for dinner, to shift the extra weight I'm carrying since or honeymoon. Oh, If only I could be the kind of lady that could live on lettace.
Last month we purchased the Clear Blue digital Ovulation predictor kit. I've been to the family planning clinic, had the rubella antibodies/immunity screening, dispute my huge fear of needles, have had a diaphragm fitted to use until we start trying, and have been waiting for a smiling face to appear to show that my LH levels have surged. This morning after catching my wee specimen in the cup used to put water in the iron(ha ha, gross I know) 3 minutes later, there was the smiler staring at me.
I have been checking LH levels every morning, alongside my basal temperature and cervical mucus (eeww) to give my DH and I a clearer idea of my body's cycle. Having been on the pill since I can remember, we thought it would help to have at least one clear cycle off of the pill before we try, and get an idea of what kind of length of cycle I'm running on, so that we can work out my fertile days when we start trying.
I smiled right back at the face telling me that I have my LH surge. I've always been a bit sceptical that I even ovulate, the concept that higher forces actually gave me the right workings to do so in the first place seem a little far fetched to me. So this is good, or at least a good start. Each site I seem to look at seems to say that my actuall ovulation will begin 12- 48 hrs, DH cant seem to understand why this cant be nailed down, ha ha!
An emotional side effect has been that potentially becoming a mum is becoming more of a real prospect. I actually became a little tearful this morning in bed with my DH, still holding the wee stick. In the last 6 weeks, I've lost my name,(albeit for a new one) am losing my home (albeit for a new one) am losing my friends & military community (albeit for a new one), and although these are all potentially positive changes I feel I need to stop and look back, as well as forward.... the chances are the new body I might be left with with might be more sack of spuds than yummy mummy :(
So as the DH goes out to get some wine, because its Friday- I'm left thinking that I should reallly have lettuce for dinner, to shift the extra weight I'm carrying since or honeymoon. Oh, If only I could be the kind of lady that could live on lettace.
Wednesday, 27 October 2010
A Vat of Sauce
Is it Wednesday??? - only Wednesday???
If I stand on my tip toes, I can just see the weekend on the horizon. We are moving soon, so my weekends only really consist of packing boxes, but I guess it beats running around the country to various social events, like we have been for the previous few months.
I was told that there would be a lull after the wedding, and that I would feel that there was a space, a hole, something missing. I dont feel that at all. I just feel busy, still. The vat of good old mid week favorite spag bol, is sitting on the hob, bubbling away, anticipating being frozen, pinged and chucked back on a plate in a mexican chilli disguise next week. Why do I feel like pre making meals is somehow cheating? Is this newly wed guilt?
Thankfully I have managed to escape from driving the 2.5hr drive into the office tomorrow. I must make the extra effort to be a motivated homeworker.....at least until Friday lunchtime.
If I stand on my tip toes, I can just see the weekend on the horizon. We are moving soon, so my weekends only really consist of packing boxes, but I guess it beats running around the country to various social events, like we have been for the previous few months.
I was told that there would be a lull after the wedding, and that I would feel that there was a space, a hole, something missing. I dont feel that at all. I just feel busy, still. The vat of good old mid week favorite spag bol, is sitting on the hob, bubbling away, anticipating being frozen, pinged and chucked back on a plate in a mexican chilli disguise next week. Why do I feel like pre making meals is somehow cheating? Is this newly wed guilt?
Thankfully I have managed to escape from driving the 2.5hr drive into the office tomorrow. I must make the extra effort to be a motivated homeworker.....at least until Friday lunchtime.
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